let’s be real

Hi guys! So big news! I’m gonna be a squad leader for the world race gap year:) I want to take you through my journey about how I came to this decision and what the Lords doing in my life because… it’s been a while!

I think the call of any Christians’ life is to invite others into what God is doing in their life. It’s how we encourage, build up and create an authentic and vulnerable community.

And thats what I want to do with my life. As a follower of christ, its my honor to share experiences, beliefs and traditions with people who may know God or might not.

When asked what I want to do with my life, who I want to be, what job I want, I can never come up with an answer that sticks. It honestly changes every week/month/year. And with each answer I give to the person who asks, I know there is a speckle of untruth in it. Because I don’t know what I want to do. I don’t know who I want to be. I don’t know what job I want. But I think that’s okay. I think that’s what this time of my life is for. Not just to figure it out, but to be able to gain life experiences that help form who I am and what I’m passionate about. What really drives me.

When I think about my life so far and what have been the best moments, a lot of them are from when I went on the world race 5 years ago (i know i cant believe its been that long). I experienced culture, relationships, the Lord and a number of other things in a brand new way. I got to feel what peter talks about in 1 Peter 1:8 “though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with inexpressible and glorious joy…” I was surrounded by 45 eighteen year olds who were so hungry and eager to know more of God. To serve his people around the world. To experience him in way that grew us and stretched us and molded us more than we ever though possible.

Alright we’re getting real guys, buckle up.

When I left that community, I kind of got hit in the face with the real world. With so many different perspectives on life and how to look at the world. Some ways involving God and some not. My bubble of hunger and passion kind of got popped when I got home. And I didn’t expect it and didn’t know how to proceed. I had so many questions and doubts. I didn’t really know what to believe anymore. So I hit pause on all of it.

When I moved to Oregon 2 years ago, I had no clue why. I had no other reason other than I wanted a new life experience and some girls I knew (from the race!) invited me to live with them:) I had been living my life since the race apart from the Lord. for about a year and a half I didn’t have a relationship with Jesus. But I kept going to church. I sat in the back. There was still a part of me tethered to the Lord. At one of the first church services I went to in Newberg I got two words from new friends about my time in Newberg. They had no clue that I was questioning and doubting. They had no clue that I felt unsure about my move. BUT they were telling my that the Lord was going to reveal to me why he moved me here and that it may not be now but he was going to tell me. I had kind of forgotten about it and kept going with my life here.

A few months into living here I came to a crossroads. It came to a point where I was at church and I was skeptical and judgmental and closed off. And I asked myself the question, “Is this it? Am I done here? Am I gonna walk away? Because I really cant do much more of this in between stuff.” And during worship the worship pastor said something about complete surrender. And I broke down. I started crying and worshiping and praying, and I don’t know how to describe it other than the spirit invaded and I was so overwhelmed and I drew near and I said “Lord, I cannot imagine my life without you. I need you.” And in that moment of complete surrender, I knew my relationship with the Lord was gonna be completely different.

It wasn’t a complete 180 of horrible to amazing. It was really hard. I started going to christian counseling and working through all of my past and up to my present with the Lord and with a counselor who helped guide me in step with the Father. I dug up all that stuff that i had shoved under the rug and got to bring the Lord into it to heal it. And got to really figure out where i used to find my identity and what I put my worth in and give that over to the Lord to find identity in him. And let me tell you I’m a changed woman!

When you’re coming into Newberg, there is a beautiful welcome sign that says “Newberg, a great place to grow”. I don’t think the towns people knew they were going to prophesy over this town when they came up with that slogan because it is the truest thing EVER.

Y’all the Lord has WRECKED me over these two years. He has torn down and rebuilt so many walls. He literally tore apart a whole house I had built around myself. A house with an unstable foundation, leaky roof, broken windows, and no insulation. He said “Eliza, we’re not doing one room, we’re doing a whole remodel.” My life is built on a completely new foundation. One that is strong and stable and will not crumble. It took a while to build it but its built! My identity is deeply rooted in who he says I am. I found so much freedom and I am forever changed. He revealed to my why he had moved me here and it was to bring me back to him. He is a father who wants his children close to him.

So at the end of my counseling last year, my counselor asked me to dream with the Lord. To ask the Lord for next steps. And when I did a little whisper of a thought popped into my head and I heard “squad leading.” I was taken aback. I didn’t think I’d ever be back in the world of Adventures in Missions doing the world race again. I kind of shrugged it off and didn’t think about it for while and thought, “if this is the Lord, then those doors will open.” Then a few weeks later I got an email from someone at AIM asking for a bunch of alumni to fill out a survey about their experience with the world race. I filled it out and one of the questions was “how likely are you to come back and serve on an AIM trip (aka the world race)” and I said very likely! So someone reached out to me and got me an application to be a squad leader for gap year.

I wrestled and sat with this application for 6 months. I kept going back and forth in when i wanted to squad lead, if I even wanted to, if i was even called to it. In my stubborn heart the Lord kept bringing me back to the application. I said to myself “Heres MY plan. I’m going to spend one last year in Newberg and then do it next year. I will spend more time with my family. i will be able to do everything I want to do before I go” and the Lord said, “If I asked you to give up your time and expectations, would you? Are you willing to give up control of what you think is best for your future and let me lead you?” I was honest with him and said “Honestly no. Not right now. I don’t think I could. But I want to say yes to you because I know that what I want is nothing compared to what you have for me. Can you help me?”

He is so sweet and gentle. And he used the people in my community as a blessing to help push me and encourage me to what he has for me. I had a number is conversations with friends that inspired me and and gave me the motivation to finally finish my application. (I submitted it in June.) I was SO nervous that I wouldn’t get accepted. I was also SO nervous that I WOULD get accepted. Because that meant I would have to leave in 2 months. That it was all real.

In these final weeks in Newberg, with time feeling like its speeding up, the Lord has slowed little moments down for me. It feels like the end of a movie when the main character sees a reel of all of the special and sweet and meaningful moments that have lead up to this moment. This big life decision. As I get older, I feel like every choice I make can drastically change me life trajectory. That’s kind of dramatic but its TRUE! What if I hadn’t done the world race 5 years ago, what if I hadn’t moved to Newberg. All of the choices we make have such an impact on how we live. And with this ‘yes’ to the Lord to squad lead, I know my life is going to change big time. I know I will never be the same Eliza sitting in Chapters coffee shop writing this blog. The only expectation I have of my life and of the Lord right now is that I’m going to change and be changed by Him. And thats a kind of freedom I’ve never really experienced until now.

He is making me like a little child. He is showing me his kingdom. He is rest. He is freedom. He is love.

Thank y’all for reading this far!! I love ya.

Some logistical things!

I am going to Cambodia, Thailand, South Africa, and Guatemala. I’ll be gone for 9 months. I will have 4 other co-leaders. I will be back in Gainesville, GA for leader training the last 2 weeks of August. And the racers come on Sept 2 for training camp which is a month! We’ll be doing 2 weeks of ministry in the States and then leave for Cambodia Oct 14!

Your support through prayer is WILDY appreciated.

And welcome back to elizadiamondidis.theworldrace.org !

(P.S. i do have to fundraise again. if you feel like giving, you either venmo me @eliza-diamondidis or click that support button at the top right corner:) thanks in advance!!!)